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Come Get Sanctious About Cell Phone Games

Ah, phones. Yet, frauen cellphones aren’t all that different from the flip-phones and frauen Nokias of the history. One of the many tools that those damned millenials use to be sluggish and instantaneously improve community is one of the many. Their existance owes to one of the most outstanding illustrations of fleeing have fat always devised. The Super Mutant of lightweight telecommunications devices, or” the next development in mobile telephone development,” might become temptingly regarded as the smartphone. the subject of several crabby bitch’s newspaper cartoons.

If you spend day around hardcore leftists (you know, the people who show up to scar parlours too often and constantly wearing jackets and NOFX shirt tops ), you’ll definitely notice the facetious saying” Did you know you wanted a cellphone before consumerism told you you did”? There is a fairly obvious corn of discernment that, in my opinion, independently of your opinions on the nature of the workers theory of value and the viability of a stateful, disrespectful world. Google is the source. The motherfuckers know who you are, and they know all your kinks, too. Yes, smartphones are practical, but the cynical, hyper-capitalist system in which we live has repeatedly demonstrated that the relationship between convenience and privacy is more of a tradeoff. The only way Google could possibly reveal what is in your Drive account is if they were given a subpoena notice, but come on. It’s convenient to use Google services like Drive to have a central place to store your files- but the fact is, if you’re using Google Drive, you’re basically storing that information on somebody else’s computer.

Similar to how convenient it is to send your nudes to your confidant over Skype when you can access your cell phone through a service, but in reality, Microsoft has your nudes as well.

What’s really funny is when people send naked people over Snapchat, occasionally writing down their ugly details or applying tacky stickers to their nips. All it takes to get a glance at those huge areolas for as long as you want is a dig through the Android phone’s file system. In addition to the fact that some sweaty meathead at Snapchat’s servers is now whacking it to your nudes, those scribbles and stickers are a separate layer from the original image, and, contrary to Snapchat’s lies marketing, those photos do not magically vanish when the recipient looks at them.

But enough at how trading naked on a allegedly secret chat room could technically be considered voyeurism and thus be particularly kinky, we’re here to discuss video games.

See, smartphones are rather powerful little devices. What if some guy portated Doom to a calculator while taking a break from yelling obscenities to Snapchat sexy people had a brilliant idea:” What if there were games for smartphones?” That would ”absolutely move the product”!

I’m not here to call someone a scrub or a casual for enjoying phone games, but I am here to tell you that if you do, no you don’t, you’re wrong, you hate them. Some people managed this by placing a little game-pad ui on the screen for their sausage-like thumbs to tap. The only physical feedback you receive when pressing a button is a small vibration, which is one of the worst solutions. You’ll discover that even playing a dirt simple platformer becomes an exercise in olympic dexterity. See, the first problem poindexter there ran into was that, even accounting for the many different directions in which you can swipe your finger across the phone screen, there’s not a lot of room for graceful control schemes.

Phone games were made to be incredibly simple and awful as a result. Phone game developers were forced to offer more literal rewards: virtual currencies with which to purchase pointless bullshit because almost all of the possible games for phones are intrinsically boring and non-rewarding. These ”missions” are stupid things for the player to do in the game because the game told them to do it, like ”run for 100 meters” or ”purchase an item from the in-game shop”. If you get sucked into these phone games, you’ll soon realize that Jetpack Joyride, Temple Run, or Enema Attack are the only reasons you’re playing them! That’s certainly some sort of classical conditioning. These games sometimes also include ”missions\

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